grace fleshed out

last week was an amazing, humbling experience. finally responded to jason's cry for some love and attention. enjoyed some food (tex mex @ gringo's -- doesn't get much better) and a movie (die hard 4 -- unrealistic and oh so fun). mustered up the courage to ask him to forgive me for being such a bad friend to him lately, and he quickly said, "oh, i forgive you -- i don't hold grudges!"

the simple, pure heart of a child....he calls me maybe 50 times in the last 6 weeks, texts and emails me incessantly....with no reply from me, spiritual giant that i am (right?).

here's his email to me late last week. if this doesn't personify God's grace, i don't know what does:

hay whats up i had a grate time at the moves that movie was alsome i yester day was the best day of my life well talk to later to u later

jason

amazing.

heart check

wow.

this week has included a pretty tangible word for me from the Master.

i'm so excited about what He's calling me to -- the big picture of His Kingdom coming here, now, and how He's inviting us, His Church, to extend His reign... "big picture." that's all i seem to be thinking about now. vision. community. movement. changing the world.

and jason keeps calling me.

i've known jason for almost 7 years now. he was born of a crack-addicted mother and is now an 8-year-old boy trapped in a 22-year-old body.



sweet as can be....and boy does he love to call me...and email me....and text me....and call me some more.

how can i dream of living more and more the Way of Jesus and still struggle so mightily with my own self-absorption? how can God's beautiful, helpless, hurting children be nothing more than interruptions to me?!

i trust that You, Master, are speaking to me in this....i'm listening! i trust that You are guiding me as well as i prepare to teach this sunday....

can you be tired but fueled?

mondays are always a little hard, but i'm flat worn out today! the getaway with several families was really good -- incredibly exhausting, but very good. we're in that season of life with the little ones that makes traveling very challenging. we spent about 10 hours in the car over the weekend, and i'm pretty sure emily, our 20-month-old, cried/screamed for about 5 of 'em. (she's gotta be teething -- no idea what led to all that. i'm fairly confident her head completely spun around when we weren't looking.)

the better half of our road trip...


.


but, having said all that, i'm really glad we were able to get away with everyone. eating together and just having conversation was rich, and saturday night hearing "life stories" from 6 different folks was the highlight of the weekend. i'm so thankful that our new church community has people like these familes, Jesus-followers with a big heart for each other and for the brokenness around them.

Master, thank You for calling us to community! thank You for making us for You and for each other, wired for connection. the greatest joy i ever experience is always in the context of relationship, despite my sporadic attempts to hole up alone. i am overwhelmed that Your call on my life to lead this new community includes being surrounded by such a great body of people...Your Body......praise You, Great Provider.....

we went together to worship sunday morning at a local community church (in austin), and i'm sooooo glad we did. it was enjoyable for sure. but then i was able to go to the 530pm ecclesia gathering, and the contrast was stark! my spirit came alive at ecclesia -- the contemplative, reflective worship....the smaller community (250ish vs. 1000+)....the lack of production....the simple, challenging word to love people like Jesus loves.... ecclesia is far from perfect, but the Lord used sunday to remind me so vividly what He's calling us to shape in His Name. i don't want to get into the "different strokes" discussion when it comes to church style, methodology, etc. i guess i'm just saying, "i'm stoked!" about the kind of local church He is forming through us!

eric bryant spoke sunday at ecclesia. he leads a great church out in los angeles (mosaic), and my story certainly includes the way God spoke clearly to me about planting a church while out in l.a. last spring ('06) at their conference. it was good to see eric and even briefly tell him that. mosaic will continue to impact me as a leader, i'm sure.

my buddy, nate messarra, is back from scotland after being gone for 10 months. saw him yesterday for the first time since christmas -- good times! he's diving in with his passion and gifts to the formation of ecclesia clear lake while finishing up his last couple of years of college, and i'm so eager to partner with him!

ok....i've gotta end this little rant.

i'm so worn out....and yet my wheels are spinning a million miles an hour!

(i look totally fine, right?)

old friends and new

tomorrow keri and i are getting away for the weekend with 6-7 other families. we're going to a lake house on lake travis near austin. with our kids (almost 4 and 2) and keri's pregnancy (now...17 weeks along?), it's going to be a little bit of an adventure, especially with 20+ folks in one big house! might be closer to a bad reality t.v. show than healthy community, but...

this is definitely a big part of our journey right now. we've been blessed with the most amazing friends, several of whom we've been doing life with right here in our community these last few years. and yet now God is inviting us, calling us to begin new relationships with a new church family right here in the same corner of the universe. we barely know most of the folks we're getting away with, and i'm counting on us barely knowing most of the many people who journey with us and ecclesia clear lake....and yet i'm so excited!

definitely not "out with the old, in with the new!" i'm anticipating the joy of maintaining rich friendships with several folks and enjoying many rich, new friendships in this new season.

regardless....God is good and is clearly calling me and my family into this new season....this new community....this new movement of people.

and i'm excited!

(pictures and/or stories to follow after the weekend...)

bachelor life is not for me

about to go down for night #4 all by my lonesome. keri and the kids went to college station for a long weekend as keri takes care of her sister's kids -- one pregnant mom and 5 kids at her ankles -- and i've been bachin' it ever since (poor me). i'm missing my girls bad, and i'm as aware as i've been in a long, long time how much keri and i are connected.

other times i've been outta town on a trip while keri's been at home, but this time the roles were reversed. doing my daily stuff here -- routines, work, home, friends -- but doing it alone. man, i'm missing my bride!

i'm taking most of the day off tomorrow to reconnect. and it's our 14th anniversary of our wedding, so i think we're going to go to some swank restaurant (texas road house...or pappasitos...?) and enjoy some high class entertainment in the city (a movie?). already spent some serious cash on a recent trip to colorado, so the anniversary budget is low.

love is such a gift from above. romance is part of the fullness of life He offers.



and i'm so grateful.








Master, why do i get to have a true companion like keri? i don't deserve her. You are too generous! please empower me to be to her as You have been to me -- make me more of a servant. make me more tenderhearted...more present with her...less self-absorbed...more romantic...more willing to sacrifice...

i pray You are honored by the way i lay down my life for her, Lord...

a night owl entry...

well...it's almost 1am. about normal for my brain to be functioning on all cylinders this time of day (as opposed to any time in the morning before 10am). it's a blessing and a curse, but i guess i wouldn't have it any other way.

just finished hanging with some good friends, playing some hold 'em. one of my favorite things about summer is seeing "kids" that are home from college...i really enjoy having rich history with them after being a part of young life for so long.

i'm excited to go to ecclesia the woodlands tomorrow morning. they, like us here in clear lake, are planting a church with ecclesia in the suburbs of h-town. they're meeting monthly now up at the theater (cinemark?) at market street, and i'm excited about going up there to meet some of them and enjoy worshiping with them. it's going to be fun to see how much our journey is similar to theirs as we both seek to lead movements of people on opposite ends of the city while connected to ecclesia houston.

so much of what needs to happen for us to start well in september is happening! the only thing that is not quite where i hoped for at this point is our funding. i still hope to raise $120,000 by september, and God's provided about $44k so far. of course, me being a "glass is half full" kind of guy, I'm overwhelmed and grateful! but...$76k is still a lot of money to me. (i know, i know, Master -- you own the cattle on a thousand hills...my faith can be so small...)

praying for more funding....for generous hospitality from the vineyard church in clear lake (prayerfully considering letting us use their space to gather weekly)....for the Master to completely have His way in me (there is so much room for Him to work)....for the baby inside my wife's belly (arriving in december!).....for this movement to be pleasing to Him and difference making in the Kingdom....

ok, i'm out....gonna hit the sack.

i love You, Lord. thank You for putting up with me, much less choosing me to lead...have Your way....

10 days in...

so many people are asking me, "so...what are you doing?" well...so far, i'm working at starbucks, sleeping a lot, counting the days for halo 3 to come out, crocheting a new sweater, and shopping as much as i can.

ok -- one of those things is true (and i'm not sleeping a lot). september 25th will be a fun day.


no, it's been a great first 10 days. if i was making widgets or something else tangible, i'm confident i'd have....well, a lot of widgets already. but since the Master's called me to this people job, i'm not sure i have much to show for it at this point. but so much has happened!

• our leadership team for ecclesia-clear lake is taking shape
• the question as to where we're going to gather weekly (beginning sept. 9th, by the way!) has unofficially been answered (i'll update when it's actually official -- very soon!)
• funding continues to come in, thanks to generous, faith-filled, Kingdom-minded people
• micah peacock & lauren holmes, two of my favorite young, Jesus-loving musicians, have committed to take point on worship at our gatherings
• ecclesia houston (down on taft st.) has opened up its arms to me, more than i deserve, and the folks there are excited about what the Lord is raising up in clear lake -- i've spent a lot of time down there
• fun stuff like budgets and websites are almost completed
• and i've "had to" go to a handful of astros games with leaders, donors, and friends in on this journey

sunday was a little tough, our first away from fcc. it was especially hard for keri -- i at least have relationships with a bunch of ecclesia folks that have taken shape these last few months, whereas she's been loving our kids. we worshiped down at taft in the morning, and it was one more tangible reminder of what God is calling us to. i went down again in the evening, and, i guess because the "1st day at the office" feeling had passed, i thoroughly enjoyed worshiping. just a dude (robbie seay) on an accoustic guitar with another dude on a cello. ooooooh -- i could worship that way all the time.

as crazy as this journey is and will be, i'm so thankful God's granted me perspective. He's given me a crystal clear calling to boldly lead and teach, a strong awareness of my own shortcomings (and my resulting need for help!), and a determination to balance time for family and for myself in the midst of it all.

it's been a great first 10 days.

loving my girls. here are some pics...



me & keri in colorado a few weeks ago -- the quick vacation before the big transition



how do you say "no" to this look?!



why i'm already answering the door with a shotgun on my shoulder

Lord, You are too generous...too good...thank you for your provision, your affirmation, your empowerment....i pray You are glorified in all that we do as this journey continues and this movement takes shape...that You are honored in all that we enjoy....that You are pleased with our hearts' desire to love You back...our desire to be faithful....

please have your way in us...in this...in me...

overwhelmed

wow.

yesterday was amazing. hard but good. being at fcc for the last time on staff, teaching one last time, seeing so many friends for at least the last of regular interactions...it was pretty emotional.

i have so much love for that church. it's far from perfect, but the leadership, and therefore the heartbeat, of fcc is the most God-honoring i've been around. at some random point during one of the songs we were singing, i had to try pretty hard not to break down crying. lot of hugs, lots of encouragement from folks. to have this kind of love and support as God calls me out has been overwhelming, especially in light of the fact that there is so much divisiveness in the Church out there. so much ego and competition and fear -- so much sin. it's all about the Kingdom, and it's so right to be around folks that believe that!

now to move into this new season. i've got lots to work on -- meeting with key folks, immersing myself into the ecclesia houston community, raising money, pounding the pavement for a gathering locale, and, of course, all the things that are internal and vital -- praying, reading, working out, eating and sleeping well... i long for some balance and intentionality in those "vitals." at least part of today is prioritizing and planning my week this week...

i'm pretty dang excited! and certainly overwhelmed at how good God is and how wild this ride with Him can be.

please, Master, have Your way with me today. give me wisdom and self-discipline to prioritize what You would have me do. this is Your deal. i'm Yours...